Delusions of my Breaking Mind

I heard that you're alone again, I hope you'll be okay, It takes every bit of discipline, To not reach out and say, That I have raging thoughts within, For you to not suffer and to pay,

The hypocrisy inside of me, Is fueled by different shards, All of which I calmly see, But disregarding them is hard,

We haven't spoken in some years, Except the odd exchange, To think I cried so many tears, Yet still want good is strange,

Could I truly forgive and move on, Or have parts of me been stunted? The shadow lingers, weighs a ton, And nothing I do will shunt it,

Life has these tricky ways, To obscure meaning in average days, Are these signs I see or just of kind, The delusion of my breaking mind.